O.k. so I have been in small town USA aka Hobbs, NM for two years and seven months. I really thought that by now we would be past all the rough patches of adjustment. Boy did I think wrong! (Not using the children's real names for their sake.) When I first moved here Claire was 8 and Ryan was 10. They are now nearly 11 and 13......boy how time quickly time passes.
Yesterday evening Jerry was stuck at work and Ryan had baseball practice so I offered to pick the kids up. I pulled up and saw Claire's smiling face peek out the window. Next thing I know she is headed to my car with her body shaking and tears forming in her pretty brown eyes. I rolled down my window as she walked up and said to her please don't cry. Hold it in and tell me what's wrong. She then explained that her mom had told her she couldn't go with me and that Ryan had to come home right after practice. I asked if they had gotten into trouble and she said no. She was sobbing and explained that her mom started yelling at her because I was there to pick them up. She said that her mom told her that if Jerry couldn't take Ryan to practice then he should have called her and asked her to take him. Please keep in mind that prior to my moving here Jerry said that she never took the kids to any of their practices and rarely showed up to their games. Since I have moved here, her and her boyfriend typical go to the games, but still rarely take them to any of their practices.
So yesterday evening was a quite one at home. I cooked dinner, not for four, but instead only for two and tried to figure out in my mind why I am so despised. I don't try to pretend I am the kids mother. They have one, no matter how much I disagree with her behavior or how she treats the kids they are, and will always be hers. The only thing I have done is try to be a positive role model and love them and their father without condition. So even though I go to bed worried about whether or not Claire is still feeling sad about having to stay home I sleep comfortably knowing that I am guilty of nothing more than trying to be a descent human being who considers everyone involved in this less than desirable situation.
In a time where divorce is far to common I am a thirty-something woman who is in a committed relationship with a man who has two children from a previous relationship. I myself have never had a child. Being mom has always seemed like such a foriegn idea to me. Even moreso the idea of me as a "step mom" never crossed my mind. Not even when I met Jerry. After about two and a half years of a long distance relationship I made the big move to small town USA to pursue the relationship.
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